MAPS Counseling Services |
What therapy is ... |
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Psychotherapy is a relationship between you and your therapist,
which is devoted to your well being and growth. Relieving your pain,
reducing your symptoms, or changing your behavior or lifestyle may be
parts of that goal. The only direct benefit to the therapist is the fee
that you will pay. It is never your responsibility to take care of your
therapist's needs, health, or well being, other than to pay the fee.
The main way we achieve the goals of psychotherapy is talking
together. Sometimes other kinds of "expression," such as
doing art, playing (most often used with children) or writing a journal
can be used. Other methods (such as relaxation training, meditation, and
so on) may be suggested, but your therapist will use only approaches to
which you agree. You have a right to be informed and to understand the
purposes, activities, risks, and reasonable chances of success of any
approach.
Psychotherapy (or "therapy") is not physical, that is,
we do not ordinarily touch one another. It is not necessarily about past
memories, although it can be. Basically, therapy is about you striving
to know yourself better and finding ways to solve your problems and live
more happily in the world.
At MAPS, we believe that a person’s spiritual values, beliefs,
and traditions can be important to acknowledge and explore in the
therapy process. We do not “push or advocate” any particular
religion or tradition, but we are especially interested in helping you
explore your own unique customs and beliefs. For some clients,
spirituality is not seen as important, and it may not be discussed much.
For others, it may be very important and thus occupy a central place in
the therapy process.
We think of therapy as present- and future-oriented, although
some forays into understanding the past may be needed and beneficial.
Although nothing can undo the past, we agree that those who are unaware
of their past may be condemned to repeat it.
Therapy cannot protect you from real-life dangers, oppressive
circumstances, and threats. It can assist you in evaluating and
problem-solving them. Therapy cannot rescue you from danger or evil
persons. It can help you learn to recognize them and to avoid them.
Therapy cannot simply end your unhappy story, but it can strengthen you
to compose a new story.
Therapy is often hard work. You will learn to pay attention to
your thoughts, your feelings, and your relationships; to honestly
acknowledge them (including feelings you wish you never had); to work
with unwanted aspects of yourself, to learn to feel painful things and
to face ugly realities; to talk candidly and respectfully with people
you'd rather avoid; to accept impossible but inevitable situations; to
change frightening but changeable ones; to face one's inner monsters and
to learn to love the outer ones or to name and run away from them! The
therapist does not do this work.
The therapist's job is to listen carefully, to point out
strengths that have been unnoticed and weaknesses that have been
ignored, to look for hope when you are hopeless and danger when you are
naive, to allow you to be dependent when you fear depending and to
challenge you to grow up when you would love to stay little. In short,
the therapist's job is to assist you to learn to meet your needs,
satisfy your desires, and live more freely in this world. Goals
of Therapy
The chief overall goal of therapy is to help you to become better
able to meet your needs, satisfy your desires, and live more freely in
this world. Happiness, "feeling better," or similar states are
not necessarily the goal, although they may be appropriate by-products.
Some health insurance companies may insist that "problem
reduction" or "symptom relief" are the only appropriate
therapy goals. They may reimburse for what they consider “crisis
intervention,” or “medically necessary” treatment. These are
minimum goals. Authentic psychotherapy can be more than that. We will
help you in achieving symptom relief, but it is not our only interest.
However, as the client, your interests are the main focus of
psychotherapy.
Psychotherapy cannot reverse history. If you were abused or hurt
in the past, it cannot be undone. We believe it is the current effects
of past experiences that can be changed. This comes from our belief that
psychotherapy aims to help you do two major things:
To
change, primarily your ways of meeting your needs and
seeking your pleasure in the world.
To
strengthen primarily your self (that is, your capacity for
choice, resilience, and adaptation to the demands of the real world).
Some problems and sufferings are physical, or are made worse by
physical pain. Therapy can be greatly assisted by medication, by
exercise, and by bodily self-care.
Some problems and sufferings are beyond therapy. Therapy can help
you identify its own limits, and support you in the search for greater
meaning and resources.
Known
Benefits of Psychotherapy
Research has shown that most of the common approaches to therapy
are about equally successful. In general, the typical psychotherapy
clients are better off after therapy than they were before it, and they
are better off after therapy than 80% of untreated persons. This means,
in other words, that you may have about a 20% chance of feeling better
if you simply wait a few months or couple of years. Of course,
statistics are usually more complicated than that. You should know that
there is about a 5% chance that therapy may make you feel worse. A study
by Consumer Reports said that typical clients in typical kinds of
therapy for long enough periods of time actually find significant
improvement. And it shows that generally speaking, the longer one stays
in therapy the more the improvement one experiences.
Therapy is very helpful when the client is depressed,
anxious, unhappy, a survivor of trauma of many kinds, or suffering from
a life-problem which requires careful thinking and involves lots of
emotional energy. People who can talk and listen reasonably well, who
are reasonably comfortable being alone with another person, and who are
willing to pay attention to their own feelings, thoughts, and
motivations probably will do well in psychotherapy. Often, psychotherapy
can be enhanced by medications designed to decrease depression or
anxiety symptoms. If so, your therapist will discuss this with you.
Psychotherapy has been shown to help people who are passive to
become more assertive, and to feel better because more of their needs
are met. It has been shown to help people with high anxiety to feel
calmer and to become more able to calm themselves down. People who are
depressed often are helped a great deal, especially to identify and
change the ideas and beliefs that may contribute to their depression.
Most successful therapy clients change behaviors and lifestyles that
keep them unhappy or stuck. Of course, none of these people are helped
if they do not pay attention to their actual feelings and thoughts and
talk them over candidly with the therapist. Nor are they helped if they
refuse to change anything in their attitudes or their behaviors.
People who are helped by psychotherapy typically report that they
feel less unhappy, that their physical sense of well being is improved
(for example, their appetites improve, their sleep habits improve, they
have more satisfying sexual lives, and often their general health
improves). People with chronic pain problems may not have less pain, but
they often report feeling more able to live productively despite the
pain and to not be so distracted by it. Sometimes, especially when they
use additional tools such as hypnosis, they find that even their level
of pain might decrease at least some. Common
Risks Associated with Psychotherapy
There are risks to psychotherapy. The first and most important
one is that people often feel worse as the therapy progresses. Sometimes
this is natural; after all, talking about problems breaks down our usual
avoidance of them, and the pain associated with them can then be felt
more vividly. In some cases, however, the worsening is due to mistakes
on the therapist's part, such as moving into painful material before the
client is actually ready. In this case, recognizing the problem and
"slowing down" usually takes care of the worsening. If the
therapist does not "slow things down," however, the worsening
can sometimes be serious.
It is very important to let your therapist know how you are
experiencing the therapy. If it seems to be making you feel worse, maybe
it is. Telling your therapist allows exploration of what is happening,
so you can decide whether the worsening is to be expected or whether the
therapy is moving too fast.
Some clients develop strong feelings about their therapists.
This, especially in longer therapies, is normal, even if it is sometimes
uncomfortable. Any feelings are possible, and the rule for them all is
to talk them over with the therapist. We do not want you to feel shamed
or humiliated by your therapist for anything that you discuss in
therapy. If you do, inform your therapist; perhaps the feeling comes
from you, but therapists must take great care not to intentionally shame
or humiliate their clients.
Therapy can complicate your life. After all, you may discover
that you have feelings about people that you never realized you had. You
may want or need things you had overlooked, and may not have access to
them yet. You may have had experiences in the past that must be
reconciled, and sometimes that is cumbersome.
Of course, the fee you must pay for therapy can pose a risk to
you financially. You should carefully consider the fee and your ability
to pay it over the entire estimated course of therapy before you begin,
lest you find halfway through that you cannot pay the fee. Usually,
health insurance or managed cost companies (HMOs) will pay some portion
of the fee; but they often stop payment at certain limits, after which
you will be responsible for the entire fee. Will that pose an
unacceptable financial burden? If you need to continue therapy at that
time, this could cause significant distress to you.
When clients cannot stay in conscious connection with their
feelings, thoughts, or behavior, psychotherapy is not as helpful. The
risk is that it might make them feel worse, or cause anxiety. In
general, if the requirements of psychotherapy (such as talking,
listening, being able to feel reasonably safe with the therapist, being
able to learn from discussion with someone, and so on) cannot be met,
psychotherapy poses a risk of making the client at least waste time and
money, and at worst of becoming worse.
Psychotherapy can also help with marriage and relationship
problems. However, you should know that some research suggests that when
one spouse or partner meets alone with a therapist to discuss problems
involving the other partner, although it may help the person in therapy,
the chances of separation may go up.
The therapist could also offer suggestions and advice when they
are appropriate, but you must know that research shows that a
therapist's advice about life problems is often no more helpful than
that of other persons. Helping you find your own solutions is far more
important a job of the therapist than telling you what the therapist's
solutions are.
Risks
Associated with Memories
Since therapy depends on talking about your experiences, even in
the past, your memory is involved, and memory is not always completely
dependable. Your therapist can help you learn more about how memory
works, if you are interested in that. But there are two main risks in
therapy regarding memories: First is to take memories as being too
dependable (as if all memories were always accurate); and second is to
take memories as being too fallible (as if no memories from the distant
past are reliable). In fact, the truth is in between.
If you assume your memories are always accurate, therapy can be
risky. For instance, if you perhaps remember abuse by someone in your
past, and without any proof that it actually happened as you think it
did, you accuse them, this may needlessly harm another human being,
which, in our opinion, is never acceptable. A further risk is that the
accused may retaliate and sue you or your therapist. This happens with
increasing frequency. This of course will jeopardize your therapy, and
may require that it be terminated prematurely.
The other large risk associated with memory, especially memory of
abuse, is to assume that it is never reliable, especially if the memory
is unclear, vague, fragmented, or seemingly absurd. There is strong
evidence that extremely traumatic memory is not stored like normal
memories, and may be recalled in fragments, images, and sensations
without logical stories attached. So just because a memory seems hard to
put together does not automatically mean it is false, any more than it
is automatically true. The risk is that we can miss the truth either
way. Risks
Associated with
Diagnosis
Every good therapist makes some kind of "diagnosis" of
your problems. This means that there is a "summing up, which
describes in shorthand what is wrong and what is going to be the target
of therapy. Even saying, "You are unhappy because you lost your
job" is a form of diagnosis. Psychiatric diagnoses are condensed
phrases that tell what your symptoms are and what the therapist assumes
to be the cause(s) of your difficulties. The risk of making a wrong
diagnosis is that the wrong treatment will follow.
The benefit of making any diagnosis is that therapy has a much
better chance to succeed when it has a reasonable focus, which a good
diagnosis can provide.
To avoid the risks of misdiagnosis, be sure that the therapist
knows the whole story. Tell the truth as well as you can, and if
something occurs to you, tell the therapist. Therapists are supposed to
take thorough histories, and to consider carefully what medical problems
might be causing your symptoms. Sometimes they will ask you to see a
physician to make sure some medical problem is not causing your
symptoms. All this is to help them make the proper diagnosis. If you
have any concern that the therapist does not sufficiently know or
understand your situation, don't hesitate to stop the process and say
so. In this way, you can help avoid a misdiagnosis and the wrong
decisions about treatment.
Another risk associated with diagnosis is that your diagnosis, if
you use medical insurance of any form, becomes quasi-public knowledge.
Insurance companies insist that you be given a psychiatric diagnosis and
this diagnosis will be a permanent part of your medical records. These
records are available to any insurance company you apply to in the
future. It is difficult to guarantee your privacy under such conditions.
We strongly recommend that you not discuss your diagnosis with
anyone except your therapist and your most trusted associates. Employers
or people who do not have your best interests at heart are not
appropriate persons with whom to share your diagnosis. The risk is that
they may take as a "permanent truth" something that is in
reality only a therapeutic shorthand description of something you hope
to change.
Another risk associated with diagnosis is that some persons are
upset by it. Some people do not understand it and some people even feel
ashamed of their diagnoses. Please ask anything and everything you need
to in order to understand and accept your diagnosis. If you feel ashamed
or belittled by it, talk this over until the feelings become manageable.
No diagnosis needs to be a permanent, life-long prison sentence. One of
the early hurdles in therapy is arriving at an accurate and helpful
diagnosis and then helping the client become educated and reasonably
comfortable about it. Other
Risks Associate with Therapy
Unexpressed feelings about any of the "rules" of
therapy can derail your progress. If you resent paying the fee or wish
for longer sessions, please tell your therapist of these feelings. Even
if nothing can be done to change the situation, the feelings can change
if they are discussed.
Therapists are required by ethics codes and by law never to have
an outside relationship with their clients, including any form of sexual
relationship. Even semi-sexual touching is forbidden. The privacy,
intimacy, and personal nature of therapy sometimes can make feelings
quite strong between a therapist and a client. If this happens, tell
your therapist immediately. If your therapist does not respond in a way
you can be comfortable with, you can stop therapy and notify the proper
authorities.
Sometimes problems that were not apparent to you at the start
emerge during the therapy. When this happens, it is discussed between
therapist and client and a new treatment plan is developed to solve
them, or they are not addressed. Sometimes, present problems that seem
minor become larger and must be addressed. Again, a new treatment plan
wil1 be developed if that should happen, and nothing will be done
without your full consent. No
Absolute Guarantees
Based on experimental research, there are no guarantees that
therapy will help you get better. But based on over a century of
consistent clinical experience, we know that therapy helps many people
achieve meaningful improvement in their lives. We have found five
variables to be predictive of success: (1) When the therapist is
comfortable with and believes in what he or she is doing; (2) When
therapist and client share a collaborative relationship in which they
respect each other and feel a positive bond; (3) When the client is
allowed to talk freely and to feel emotions fully; (4) When the
therapist is well-trained, has experience, and competently uses skills
known to be helpful; (5) When there is enough empathy between the two
that the client feels safe and supported taking risks and accepting the
therapist's challenges or confrontations.
Some people claim that there is little "scientific
evidence" that therapy is beneficial. This is not actually true.
Furthermore, "scientific research" has serious limitations
when studying real-world situations like therapy. Many things known to
be important and useful in life are not "proven"
scientifically. Aspirin is a simple yet useful example.
Though we cannot guarantee that therapy will help you, and would
remind you that there is a slight chance (5% or less) that it might make
you worse, we believe that it is quite likely to help you at least to
overcome your immediate problems or symptoms and to feel well enough to
live more productively.
At times therapy will be difficult and uncomfortable. We cannot
say how long it will last, but we will share our best estimate with you,
once we know what the problems are. If anything changes as we go along,
we will talk it over with you and will never do anything without your
consent.
Guidelines for Therapy
You may or may not have been to a therapist before. If this is
your first experience with therapy, you may feel a bit nervous or
apprehensive. That's normal!
Therapy is a process that allows you the freedom and privacy to
discuss issues that are often painful or difficult to discuss with
family and/or friends.
The following are a few suggestions to help make your counseling
experience most effective:
1.
Before your scheduled appointment, write down
questions, topics, or issues you would like to focus on in your session.
2.
Communicate your expectations to your therapist so
that you are working together toward your goals.
3.
Provide ongoing feedback to your therapist so that
you know how you are doing (example, "I want to focus on my anger
more" or "I like doing relaxation exercises").
4.
If you feel a need to increase or decrease the
frequency of your sessions, or to end counseling, feel free to
communicate that to your therapist.
5.
If you feel a need to bring a partner, relative, or
friend in with you for your session in order to work on interpersonal
issues, feel free to do so. Please discuss it with me prior to their
arrival.
6.
If you have another professional involved in your
care (i.e. physician, chiropractor, attorney, etc.), your therapist
would be happy to coordinate with him/her if you wish. Usually, is not
advisable to have more than one mental health counselor involved in your
treatment at one time.
7.
Try to make a commitment to yourself to remain in
therapy and attend regular sessions for as long as you feel necessary.
If you wait until you have a crisis, it will be more difficult to build
long-lasting coping ski11s.
8.
If for any reason you would like to see a different
therapist, please feel free to tell your therapist. He/she can provide
you with names of other therapists. |